


Aftermath

by tryslora



Category: Terra Nova (TV)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Yuletide 2011, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-27 23:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/301294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryslora/pseuds/tryslora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is already complicated. Skye makes it moreso.</p><p>SPOILER WARNING: This is set after the midseason finale (Occupation/Resistance) and contains spoilers for that pair of episodes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladyoneill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/gifts).



> As always the characters and world belong to whoever owns Terra Nova; I just like to play with them. Many many thanks to ishie for the quick canon beta, and to e as always for being my beta!

It was sort of my fault Kara died.

I could’ve just told Josh that it wasn’t possible. We couldn’t get someone special there for him. His family was already trouble enough. But I needed him to trust me. I needed him to be able to help me. I needed a Shannon on my side, so that when things got tough, I’d have someone to go to who would cover for me. So I sort of nudged him in the right directions.

And when I needed his help, he did just that. Or he tried. He told me later how he told his dad the truth, and I wasn’t all that surprised.

See, Josh Shannon’s a good guy. Maybe that’s what makes him so attractive. Just looking at him, I can almost taste the honor pouring off his skin.

But he was taken. And he wanted to help his girlfriend come through in the next wave so she could be with him. And I knew that if I showed him how, he’d be so busy trying to save her that he wouldn’t notice the sort of hole he was digging for himself.

I never said I had honor. 

By the time everything exploded in our respective faces, I wasn’t sure we’d ever manage to be friends again.

Thing was, he didn’t blame me.

So there I was, a former spy who managed to make it up to everyone. And there he was, the policeman’s son, with a recently dead sort-of-girlfriend. And he was being nice to me about it.

I probably shouldn’t have kissed him.

Wait, take a step back.

It started when I couldn’t find him. His dad asked me where he was, like he thought I ought to know, and gave me that _something’s not right here_ look when I didn’t. Which was when I figured that Josh must’ve said he was with me and snuck out. Which meant I needed to go after him.

Things hadn’t been easy, and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to get away. He didn’t go far, after all, sitting up on a rock, out of the way of anything that might want to eat him, one of the guns by his side just in case. I climbed up and sat down next to him, without a word.

We sat like that for a while, quiet.

“Your dad’s looking for you,” I finally told him.

“I figured.” He laid back, head pillowed on his bent arms. “It feels like a prison in there right now. Even though things are sort of back to normal, Dad’s still stressed, and it feels like things are going to explode again any second.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say there. He said _explode_ and all I could think about was how he’d fought so hard, betrayed people, to get Kara back. And I know what that feels like. I know how it feels to be the betrayer, and I know how it feels to stop.

But then everything changed in that one moment as the world went boom.

How’s a girl supposed to compete with something like that?

I leaned up on my elbow so I could see him, my hand on his chest. “Any time you want to come out here, I’ll come with you. Or someone else will. You shouldn’t come out alone. It’s dangerous.”

Which was only saying what he knew, and wasn’t going to change anything. It was more that I was offering to spend time with him, and waiting to see if he accepted. Which he didn’t. But he didn’t not accept, either.

He just lay there, eyes closed, which was about the most non-Josh thing I could think of for him to do.

Which is when I kissed him.

It should have occurred to me that he was thinking about Kara. I don’t know what I was expecting. Declarations of adoration? Passion? Teasing or flirting?

Anything other than the way he pulled away from me, pushing at me as he sat up. “Skye—”

“I’m sorry.” Apologizing again. I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

“No, it’s just—” He sighed, pushing at his hair with his hands. “If it were a few weeks ago, it’d be different. If you waited a while, maybe then… but I don’t know. Right now, I just don’t know.”

I couldn’t begin to think what was going through his head, and was half afraid to ask for details. As he seemed to be settled into a new position, I shifted, sitting next to him, my knee pressing against his. Solidarity. It said _I’m here for you_ without the overtones of _I want to stick my tongue down your throat_ , right?

“Did you love her?” I winced at the past tense, wondering if I’d stuck my foot in it again.

“Yeah.” He looked down at the rock, then up at the sky. Anywhere but at me. “I hated leaving her behind back there. I was afraid of what would happen to her. Afraid she wouldn’t make it.”

And then she came here and died. In part because of my betrayal of the colony. Lovely.

I may have helped get us out of the mess, but I don’t think I’ve made it up, not yet.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop _saying_ that, Skye.” He pushed to his feet, almost growling at me. “It’s not going to make it better. You can’t bring her back by being sorry enough. It doesn’t work that way. I get it. You feel guilty. But stop following me around to make yourself feel better.”

I shot to my feet, getting right up in his face. “If that’s the reason you think I’m out here, Josh Shannon, then you have another think coming. Yes, I feel bad about Kara. Awful, really. But I’m _worried_ about you. You lied to your dad, and that’s not like you. You have this thing, inside your head, that makes you go back and confess after you do things that are wrong.”

He almost smiled. “It’s called a conscience.”

Okay, that was cute, and I had to smile back. “I like you, Josh.” The words caught me almost as off-guard as they caught him, and we both took a step back from each other when I said them. I gave him a rueful smile. “I bet I would’ve liked Kara, too. She was a lucky girl, having you the way she did.”

He just stood there, not saying a word, and I felt like an idiot. His girlfriend (or not girlfriend, I’m not sure) had just died not all that long ago. We’ve been through hell and well, a war. And here I was declaring myself _in like_ as if I’m desperate. I lifted my chin, not wanting to show weakness, hands on my hips.

“I’ll see you back at the colony.” I turned to walk away.

“Skye.”

I glanced back, not wanting to show weakness. “Yeah?”

“Stop by and tell my mom that I invited you for dinner tonight, okay?”

I almost smiled, and caught myself before it slipped out. “Oh you did?”

He did finally smile then, and while it didn’t reach his eyes, it was far better than that staring into space thing he had been doing. “Yeah, I did. And I’ll be back soon. I just—I need some time.”

I heard what he was saying then, all these layers in those four words. That he loved her still. That he missed her. That he forgave me. That maybe I had a chance.

Or maybe that’s not what he meant, but it’s what I wanted to hear.

I thought, just for a moment, about kissing him again, but decided not to push things. He’d come around, eventually. I’d give him time, and I’d be there for him. And when he was ready, I’d be waiting. “Take all the time you want, Shannon.” I flashed a grin. “I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
